Ahhh nap time. That time of day where you can sit back, relax, and do whatever the hell you want. Right? Wrong. When I think of how I originally planned to make the most of his time sleeping, I can’t help but laugh at myself. I was going to work on my writing, try to rebuild my freelance portfolio, get through tonnes (literally) of books, and do quite a bit of gaming. When he was first born, and I realised just how tiring having a baby can be, I planned to follow the advice that everyone hands out, and sleep when we was sleeping. There wasn’t really much else I could do because I was recovering from a c-section.
Did that ever happen? No. Sleeping when Theo was sleeping was hard work. It meant getting up the stairs because I couldn’t get comfy on the sofa. That hurt. Getting in and out of bed hurt. Waking up after a very short nap because he’d woken up another feed just made me feel even worse. So I sat on the sofa and watched Netflix, BBC iPlayer, 4OD, Now TV, whatever I could get my hands on. I’d sit there in a daze, following a cycle of feeds, nappy changes, TV, binge eating, and trying not to wake the baby when I needed to get up for the toilet. I had my partner helping, but there was only so much he could do as I was breastfeeding.
My baby boy is now 5 months old. He’s napping, and I’m sitting on the sofa watching TV. What I should be doing, is turning it off whilst I write this. I could go and sit at my computer rather than using my tablet, or I could simply put some music on as background noise. The trouble is, I no longer know what to do without the big screen. I could say that I just don’t want to start anything because Theo will wake up soon so what’s the point? The thing is though, his naps can last a couple of hours…plenty of time to read or do a puzzle or work on my diction. My real problem is that I no longer know how to function without something on the screen. What did I do before Netflix came into my life? What did I do before I started gaming? I honestly can’t remember. I need to though, or this little man is going to grow up the same way.
I need to remember how to live life without constantly being in front of the screen. So for now, I’m going to use this very screen to do a little research and see if I can rekindle my creativity.