Babies: The Expectation – #Blogtober17 Day 2

All women are expected to have babies. Except those women who love other women of course, because then the idea becomes absurd, as if the mothering instinct has disappeared. In such a modern world, I really don’t understand why the idea of two women having kids is still so taboo. I personally find it amazing…especially the idea that one woman’s egg can be fertilised and placed in the other woman’s womb to grow. How beautiful is that!

Since having a child, I have lost count of the number of times people have asked me when I’m having the next one. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love another, but not quite yet. It’s one thing when friends and family ask, but another when the question comes from a complete stranger. What frustrates me about that is the expectation.

Once you pop, you just can’t stop!

And then there’s the pressure put on newlyweds. Apparently as soon as you get married, the first thing on your mind should be starting a family. The sooner the better, although it becomes a funny family story if it happens whilst on the honeymoon. As soon as a woman gets married, it seems it’s her job to give up everything and become the perfect mother and housewife. How is that still an expectation? What happened to couples travelling or women focusing on their careers? And heaven forbid the father should want to take on that role instead!

Ooooh it’ll be babies next!

Seriously. No matter the stage in a woman’s life, whether she’s in a picture perfect steady relationship or has years of marriage under her belt, don’t ask her when she’s having kids. It is none of your business, whether you are friend, family, or acquaintance. The only people that should be having that discussion are the couple themselves.


  • Maybe they’ve been trying, but it hasn’t happened yet
  • Maybe they don’t want kids
  • Maybe it’s an awkward topic they can’t agree on
  • Maybe they have other things they want to do first
  • Maybe they were pregnant, but suffered a loss you don’t know about
  • Maybe they are pregnant but don’t want to announce it yet
  • Maybe they are having relationship troubles and a baby is the last thing on their minds

These questions and exclamations are usually made out of jest or genuine curiosity. They aren’t meant to harm or cause stress, but unfortunately they often do. Imagine being asked the same question over and over again by multiple people – how annoyed would you get? Now imagine if that question brought up painful memories or feelings.

So next time you want to ask that question, consider asking something else instead.



I am taking part in #Blogtober17, posted by Hex Mum. You can read more of my #Blogtober17 posts here, and have a read of other bloggers’ Day 2 posts here.

6 thoughts on “Babies: The Expectation – #Blogtober17 Day 2

  1. It must be awful to be asked again and again. I married at 18 and had no plans to have children, I was lucky, no-one asked me and I had no pressure from family either. I took their lead and have never pressurised my children ( yes I had two ). They will if they want and if they don’t then that is their decision #blogtober17
    Bear and Cardigan recently posted…Our Weekly Journal 2nd October 2017 – Babies and Honey Bee #Blogtober17 Day 2My Profile

    1. Good for you! I plan to parent that way too. I keep getting asked when I’m having another one, plus because we have a child I keep getting asked when we’re getting married! As much as I would love to one day, I don’t want the reason to be because we have a child so it’s expected!

  2. Great post. There is so much expectation in this world. We totally did things around the ‘wrong way’ having Olivia and then getting married two years later.

    1. I had it all planned out…but life doesn’t always work that way does it. My son is now 2, and we’re not married. I like to think it will happen one day, but I don’t want to get married just because we have a child. There’s another expectation right there!

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