Motherhood has had such a big impact on my life; it’s changed me in so many ways. For one, my confidence levels have soared. I might kill plants, burn food, not hoover as much as I should and let the dishes pile high by the sink, but I’ve still somehow managed to keep my baby happy and fed. It’s only been 3 months (well 14 weeks, 5 days and 21 hours at the time of writing this), but that’s still an achievement right? He’s making the health visitors happy by steadily putting on weight, and he’s making me unhappy by steadily outgrowing the multitude of clothes I bought him (you can tell I’m a first time mum by the size of his wardrobe), and I think that’s pretty good going. As someone who suffers from bouts of severe social anxiety, I now feel like I want to go out so I can show him off. He is the cutest, most adorable, cheekiest little boy on the planet, and yes I am biased and unashamed of that fact. And he’s so happy! When did I acquire the skills to make someone so happy?! I seem quite capable of pissing everyone else off!
My little man is my world, there’s no doubt about it. I feel so empowered by his love for me, and so motivated to get on with life and make him proud. It beats spending my day in the company of Netflix and the PS4, although yes…I do still spend more time with them than I should. Now that the little one is becoming more aware of the world around him though, there is so much more we can do with our time. I must admit, I do miss the newborn days…the days of him sleeping on me and burying his head in my shoulder. I even miss the struggle to breastfeed and being afraid to move in case I wake him. There’s nothing quite like having him smile at me though, or our morning chats. He’s started giggling recently too…a full on baby chuckle which is so ridiculously adorable.
Off on a tangent again…I tend to do that. I was talking about motivation. I used to write every day; multiple times a day even. I gradually stopped that when my job took over, and then when I started maternity leave and had the time, I was either too tired or didn’t know what to write. Pitiful excuses, especially for someone who wants to make a living out of such an activity. My son is my motivation now. I’d been lying in bed for the past hour or so, just listening to his breathing, and I got the urge to write; to set up a new platform for me to express myself and share my thoughts and experiences.
So here it is for you ladies and gents, another blog on motherhood. I hope you enjoy.