Some days it’s hard to focus on the things you are grateful for. Some days hurt and disappointment seem to take over…but those are also the days when the positives become really important.
Today is one of those days. It’s my birthday tomorrow, a day I share with my Nanny. We always do something for the family around this date, and its become especially important to me (and to my Nan) since my Grandad died 2.5 years ago. It feels so odd that this is our third birthday celebration without him.
My birthday has always been a source of anxiety for me, and I’m not entirely sure why. I guess it could stem from being a kid and not knowing who was going to turn up to my parties, and then knowing that whoever turned up would have more fun with each other than they would with me (I was always the outsider in the friendship circle). I’m not quite sure how that has continued during my adult years though, I just know I can never quite relax.
Today we had a small birthday celebration round my Nan’s house, with almost all of the family there. It’s the people that were missing that saddens me.
My Nan has early onset dementia, which has recently been getting a lot worse. This birthday was all the more important for me, because you never know how it will be next year.
I am grateful that she enjoyed herself though. My son is her only Great Grandson, and she loves the bones of him. It always brightens her day whenever she sees him, and today was no exception. That is my main source of gratitude today, and the one I am holding on the tightest to. She had a fantastic afternoon with us, and was so happy. I am proud to have been a part of that.
I am also grateful for this awesome present that my Mum and her husband got me! It makes me feel like a kid again 😀
Tomorrow, we shall be dropping the toddler off at his cousins’ and heading off to London. So excited to see School of Rock and have some quality time with my partner!
You can see more of my #100DaysofGratitude posts on my Instagram.